I'm reading for Global Engagement right now. and the more I read the more I realize that it is restoring my hope back to God, something I never knew I lost.
But I saw the suffering and I think somewhere in my subconscious I wondered where were you God? Where were you during the Rwandan Genocide? Are you with the children with swollen bellies? Why don't you stop it? Why have you given me so much, when others have so little?
I knew God was good, I knew he loved me, but I forgot God was just, I forgot that God wants to show his love to the whole world through his people, it started to feel like a self struggle I made up myself.
I forgot that God tells us that he is in the places on earth where the darkness reigns. And I forgot that the reason I feel called to missions is because God is calling me to be his hands and his feet in these areas. In the areas of Scotland where rates of SAD and depression are so high that elementary schools have posters about depression, God has called me to help bring his joy. For the first time in a long time, I feel on fire for what God wants me to do in the future. I feel purpose; I feel mission. All from a book on social justice. Glenn Beck I never liked you much anyway, but by making social justice a curse word you have done the the church great harm.

I feel weird admitting this, because it's not something a 23 year old almost 24 girl is supposed to feel.
It's also scary because I don't want to be this way my whole life. because I want to be a mom, it's honestly my dream career. The only one I've wanted to do since I was 3.

but God's been teaching me the pleasures of singleness lately, and he's been giving me this huge desire to help other girls on this journey. Paul tried to tell us that it's better to be single, and while I don't believe it's an all accomplishing verse. The man has a point. I know for this next stage of my life, my single college graduate stage its a very very very good thing I'm single. I'm a free bird, I can literally go and do whatever I can go and do with the resources I have available to me. I don't have to worry about how it will effect a boyfriend, I don't have have to hope and pray that a husband would be feeling the same call (though that is a wonderful way of accountability). I can devote everything within me

I'm kind of a free spirit you might say, something flipped in my brain sometime between the end of high school and the beginning of CCU and I really don't mind thinking differently then those around me. It's been the distinguishing feature of my college career actually. as I've said before most of time in class is spent feeling like the most liberal or the most conservative person there. I lean towards Calvinism at a school where it's pretty unheard of. But the thing is after awhile thinking for yourself and forming your own opinions gets a little lonely. I start to wonder sometime if there is anyone that thinks like me in the state of Colorado. Days like last year when Sarah Palin came to town were especially hard.
But then there are other days, days that the other people who think for themselves talk up in class. They vent their frustration, and say what the bible tells them even if it isn't the popular opinion. These days my soul breathes a sigh of relief, and I get a better picture of what it means to be the body of Christ. Because my automatic reaction isn't being defensive, because it isn't the same old, same old. I become inspired to grow closer to God and to make a difference in the world. I learn.
Thank you God for today.

God has been teaching me a lot lately about what it means to live for him, and stand up for truth in this world (read my earlier post from last year about shorter which explains in more detail). But the thing he keeps on reminding me, is that we can't pick and choose what commands we want to follow. We must follow the law, but we also must love, we must reach out to those in need, we must live simply, we must be Jesus' hands and feet in this broken and hurting world. We must love God with all whole hearts, and our neighbor as our self. When we do this everything else falls in place.
We don't sin as a way to follow God, but when we devote everything in our live in our being to God obedience, love is a result is a lesson God keeps on teaching me

a Ugandan friend passed away today, due to a motorcycle accident. Please keep everyone that knew him in your prayers.

Fearfully and wonderfully made

http://vimeo.com/35372448
There's a movement at my school this week called the beauty movement. Where girls at my school are abstaining from makeup, from jewelry, and from dressing up in order to focus on inner beauty.
Because I'm a pretty natural girl, I really wasn't planning on going out of my way to participate. But I was planning on not wearing makeup.
Well my plans changed this morning when i realized how hard it was for me to not pay a lot of attention to what I was wearing, and not wear mascara. So I threw on old clothes, my glasses and went to class. Not trying to look unkempt, but not putting any effort into it either and decided to fully participate.
I want to support this movement. anyone who knows about this blog should also know my testimony. My testimony of feeling completely alone in high school. I am still learning the effects this had on my self esteem, on my feelings of inadequacy. But God rescued me from these feelings, and changed my life. He showed me the beautiful person that he created me to be. He showed me how special I am, and gave me greater friends then I could ever imagine in college. He gave me freedom
I have also seen the pressures that society puts on women to be beautiful terrorize people close to me. So I desire to pray for the girls who truly need this week that they also find the freedom that they seek. The freedom to know that God made them beautiful just they way they are. To know that beauty doesn't come from from our efforts but from our heart. Friends and family: will you join me?

I just got back from a weekend with friends. Most of these friends I have known for my whole time at CCU. Friends where you don't have to worry about getting to know each other, because your past that stage. Friends where you simply get to be friends, no need to impress. It's something I haven't experienced much with the wandering I do, and it was beyond refreshing. It was also a weekend of goodbyes for one of my first CCU apartmentmates and dear friends Larissa was saying goodbye before moving back home to Indiana.

College Graduation is a weird thing. because your not going to have the same hometown, and see each other for holidays. But college friends, well they are deeper then high school friends. and the friendships that are deep are friends for life, I have seen it with my own parents. So I've decided this is not a semester of goodbyes but of see you laters. Its kind of fun actually. College is a time of dreaming and preparing for the future. It's fun to see friends actually getting there.