Since returning from Uganda Ive been called brave, adventurous, all good things but something inside of me hesitates when I am called these things
Why do i feel this way?
I lived in Uganda for three months......
I'm doing everything in my power to try to move to Europe in a year and I'm praying that if it's God's will he will pave a way....
I randomly moved to New York this summer.......
I live in Colorado and crazy outdoor activities are a part of my daily life....
so why can't I consider myself braver then the average joe.....
because honestly I have a hard time believing I am,
sure I do crazy stuff
but why does that make me brave?

Definition of BRAVE

1: having or showing courage

cour·age

noun \ˈkər-ij, ˈkə-rij\

: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

I don't think that fits me, I'm the girl who didn't drive completely until she was 21 and didn't drive on high ways until she was 22
who is terrified of speaking in class....
the person who is terrified to ask professors questions.........

I think what it really is is that God gives us the strength to walk the path he has paved for us, my path might seems absolutely terrifying to one person, While I might think the person who isn't afraid to make a fool of themselves or is a truck driver, lives a terrifying lifestyle .
I really have a hard time saying a person is braver then another person because of singular things that they do. What I believe bravery really is, is knowing our lives are not our own and so instead we don't live for our safety but God's glory, which could mean living in the safest suburban bubble, or it could mean living in a village in Africa. God equips us, and sends us out, to be a light for him in the dark and dreary world

I'm sitting here in upstate New york, my summer home,
and well just being up here, well it's soothing and comforting
me and my navy cousins often talk about how this is the one place that feeels like home, because its been the one place that is a constant state of comfort growing up. We moved it didn't, we changed by the second, it has only changed gradually over time.

and well I'm in love with the Adirondacks, like in love. They're pretty much the reason I'm an outdoor leadership minor, that's a pretty impressive thing to be.

SO Ive been reading two books lately
The young, reformed, and restless
and hipster Christianity
and these books are pretty relevant to me
but the thing I've been thinking about lately, is am I these thing because the culture around me dictates it? Or am I these things because it is how God is shaping my heart?
I did a lot of failing and growing in what it means to be a christian my junior year.
I learned A Lot. and well I'm tired of having all head knowledge, and not living it out.
Next year I want to love everyone I'm around
I want to live passionately in everything I do
I want to be prepared to enter into the big bad world
I want to learn more about the love of Christ, and possibly share it those I'm around
I want to figure out this Scotland thing
I want to live simply and love radically
is that to much to hope for?