my life changed a whole bunch in Uganda, because my heart changed a whole bunch.
but I was unwilling to accept a lot of it.
I was living with a different heart, but the same exact plans as before.
And to further it, I was afraid, afraid of being homesick once again
But that not what God has called us towards, He has called us to be his hands and his feet, to love his creation, and to worship him our creator.
So what does this mean, well I'm thinking my plans might be different for next year. I'm thinking maybe just maybe I'll try to enter the work world for a year, while truly searching with all my heart, soul, and mind. Maybe I will end up in Scotland, maybe I'll end up in Africa. But I'm going to let God tell me what to do, and fear isn't going to stand in the way.

unless I'm doing a terrible job at listening, I don't think God wants me to live in Uganda again, It's not where he has called me, it's not how he has made me
but Uganda my semester there changed my heart at it's very core and now almost a year later, I'm still adjusting to life in the US, still trying to live as this new me.
It's not hard anymore
I don't have moments of crying, of feeling utterly alone,
but my study abroad experience changed me, and there's a part of me that wants to go back
I've realized how fragile my heart was when I was in Uganda, because it has started to heal.
That summer before, was the worst summer of my life, and my heart needed a lot of healing
I believe Uganda was part of it, but it hurt my experience. Part of me wants to go back. But I know it's not where God wants me.
But maybe one day, some day he will allow me a visit

So God's really working on my heart a
and well I might have a plan for next year
I might be going back to college....
yes you read that right, your eyes were not playing tricks on you
what i mean is I might go to missions college
It's called Redcliffe and it's in the Gloucester region of England yes you read that right... England
And the more I think about the more my heart is saying yes yes that's the one, that's your plan
So I might be writing papers for another year, I might in away be studying abroad again,
It just answers so many prayer
like with a Student visa I am allowed to work part time in the UK
isn't that wonderful
And it's community of people who want to go out and change the world, not just avoid college for a year (sorry YWAM, but you know there is a tinge of truth to that), or have some fantastic life changing missions experience, and come back to the US to never leave again, no it's a group of people in it for the long haul
How amazing is that!!

celebrations of a charismatic calvinist

I was just reading a statement on the Gifts of the Spirit by the PCA
and well I am very surprised to say I agree with all but baptism of the spirit*
In this document it makes some things very clear
such as that God DOES heal today, which is a blessing to a girl convinced of God's healing power
Pretty much it just believes that the gifts of the spirit should not be the focus of the church, and that they must be orderly when practiced so that the church is not divided and anger is not brought up.

This is a statement I can fully fully agree with. I have seen how charismatic gifts can go too far, and divide a church, I hope I never have to go through that again.
God must be the focus, signs and wonders should not be what we seek,
For when we seek signs and wonders are we truly following God with our whole heart?
Because if we are following God with our whole heart, doesn't it mean we should worship him even if all the gifts had stopped.

but this does not mean they do not happen today
because we serve an all powerful God, that is bigger and greater then we can possibly imagine, and because of this we can not put limits on what he can do. We must hold everything up to God's holy scripture. We must follow God with all our HEART, soul, and MIND

* listen to John Piper's sermon concerning the matter, turned my heart which was very set that it occurred at salvation, to believing in baptism of the holy spirit as a separate occurrence once again

“There is a warning. The path of God-exalting joy will cost you your life. Jesus said, “Whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it.” In other words, it is better to lose your life than to waste it. If you live gladly to make others glad in
God, your life will be hard, your risks will be high, and your joy will be full. This is not a book about how to avoid a wounded life, but how to avoid a wasted life. Some of you will die in the service of Christ. That will not be a tragedy. Treasuring life above Christ is a tragedy.”
― John Piper

"We must be global Christians with a global vision because our God is a global God." — John Stot
I have a bit of holy anger burning inside of me, because I keep on realizing how un internationally focused CCU is.
CCU keeps on focusing more and more on America, not the world, it makes me mad, it makes me furious. And it's the attitude I keep on seeing more and more at CCU. That we should just focus on America because that's where God put us.
Don't they realize That the bible tells us to GO OUT!!!! to all nations
that there are people who have never heard the Jesus is their Savior
That America has 95% of Youth Ministry resources.
That sometime the best way to share the gospel is across culture
God has redeemed my soul, he bring a new meaning to my life. I want to share that with everyone. God loves the nations so we must love the nations. Not in a were better then you way, but we must walk besides people of all cultures on this journey we call life.

We must GET OUT of our America Bubble. Yes some people are called to minister to America, but their prayers, their resources must be partly with the nations. We can not afford to be American focus, our hearts our brains must be internationally focused.

"The Great Commission1 is not an option to be considered; it is a command to be obeyed" — Hudson Taylor
"The Bible is not the basis of missions; missions is the basis of the Bible" — Ralph Winter, missiologist
"The mission of the church is missions" — Oswald J. Smith
"To belong to Jesus is to embrace the nations with Him." — John Piper
"God is pursuing with omnipotent passion a worldwide purpose of gathering joyful worshipers for Himself from every tribe and tongue and people and nation. He has an inexhaustible enthusiasm for the supremacy of His name among the nations. Therefore, let us bring our affections into line with His, and, for the sake of His name, let us renounce the quest for worldly comforts and join His global purpose." — John Piper
"Go, send, or disobey." — John Piper