I am once again becoming excited, the fear is slowly dying. I am weak but God is strong

Another quote

I'm supposed to be on a plane to Bham, silly flight delays


"That you will, dearie, and no mistake," said Mrs Beaver; "if there's anyone who can appear before Aslan without their knees knocking they're either braver than most or else just silly."

"Then he isn't safe?" said Lucy.

"Safe?" said Mr Beaver; "don't you hear what Mrs Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."

Chapter 8,
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe,
The Chronicles of Narnia

When they have learned to love their neighbours as themselves, they will be allowed to love themselves as their neighbours

"To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable."
— C.S. Lewis
Please read post below if you havent yet

Fear and well a silly request

I leave for Uganda in like a month



and to be honest I'm scared out of my mind. I'm scared to see the poverty, when just a homeless person on the street makes me want to cry. I'm scared that I won't feel safe, because 9th grade unadventurous, before God showed me I could trust him me, never did in Jamaica. To be honest I'm scared to see how much I will change because honestly I love my life right now. I'm afraid when I get home I'll feel guilty for parts of my life such as my ski pass which cost so much. I like who I am now, And I guess in a way it's weird to think how different I will be when I return. How different my plans for the future could be. Heck, I'm even scared I'll miss the Colorado mountains a ton

But God is there, he is there to comfort me, to guide me, to be my everything. Sometimes I look at Uganda and I forget that God will be there with me and the whole thing is unbelievably scary. And then I look at it again this time knowing God is there for me and I see hope, I see light, I know why I'm supposed to go. Sometimes I want the trip to be easy fun. But then I remember when I signed up for the trip to Uganda I didn't sign up to have a blast or for it to be easy. I signed up to be changed, for adventure, to learn how to love, no matter how hard that process might be

Please pray for peace and assurance. Please pray for my trip to Uganda.
and please if you read my blog, even if I don't know you well, please anyone reading this, comment on this post please. and well I have a special project for everyone. Every time I go to Scotland my mom (and my sister and Dad sometimes) sends me prayer letters, and these are invaluable to me during my trip. But I cant ask her to send me a letter for everyday in Uganda now can I. So it would mean so much to me if you could write a letter for me to read in Uganda. just facebook message me or my mom or look in the white pages(were the only you know who's in Wichita)for my home address and put Uganda on the back of the envelope in small letters. I know this is a silly request but it will mean so much to me while I'm there :)

I was on my way back from buying some lifesavers for my sore throat. I returned to my chair at O'Hare and noticed everyone was standing around the television watching the news I looked up on the screen. It said bombings in Uganda, my heart sunk. I soon learned that these bombings were not in the North that often sees crime but in the capital city of Kampala.
I still do not know quite what this means for my trip,but I learned this last night. That God has given me a love for Uganda, watching the TV last night seeing images of the people hurt broke my heart.
I'll admit I still find my self asking God sometimes, of all the best semester opportunities God why did you lead me to Uganda, why not Russia or China? And although it will be awhile until I find out the reasons why, I know God is giving me a love for this place and he is calling me there. And that in itself is reason enough to go.

So the nervousness for Uganda has fully set in, but with the nervousness comes excitement. I am so excited to see what this next semester will bring. The experiences it will bring, and how it will change me as a person. Pretty much everything I read tells me that I will return a new person forever changed. And I'm curious to see what that person will look like and what the path to get there will be like.

Here are some Prayer Request
For deep friendships that are like family. I thought this was important for CCU but it is even more important for Uganda. It's the only way to cure homesickness
For health - the packing list specifically mentions bringing your favorite stomach medicine
For emotional well being - this will probably be my toughest semester emotionally no matter how good this experience is.

Is there a way to combine my love for the outdoors the part of me that wants to drop everything and become a white water rafting guide, or Kayak across America
With the love God's giving me for missions
there pretty much equal passions and it's getting me confused
part of it might be becuse this is so different from the path I thought I would choose. Sophmore year of high school I wanted to be a nurse or a teacher. And most of all a cheerleading coach. And then god taught me how to trust how to dream.