In a week.......
When people ask me where I go to school ( like they will because I look so young) I will have to awkwardly tell them I'm a college graduate
I will read books for fun
I will no longer be my year in school but my age
college students will start to seem younger than me
I will be one step further to being a grown up 
I will never write a paper again (unless Redcliffe or and medical degree decides to woo me)
I will not have a Mrs degree and I will be perfectly happy with that fact
I will leave the  the friends I spent nights praying for in high school
The world will be at my footsteps and I will be ready to take it on

thank you college

“God is in the slums, in the cardboard boxes where the poor play house. God is in the silence of a mother who has infected her child with a virus that will end both their lives. God is in the cries heard under the rubble of war. God is in the debris of wasted opportunity and lives, and God is with us if we are with them.”
― Bono

All semester in management Cyphers (my outdoor leadership professor) has been asking us what is the issue that makes you weep, makes you pound your fist on the table. It's a hard question. There are a lot of things that make me weep, there are a lot of thing I want to change. But well I've been learning lately that the issue that make me weep more than any other one is the Church being the church. As Gandhi once said us Christians are so unlike our Christ. His ministry was highlighted centered around love, condemning the religious pharisees of the day that lacked love, but we have become religious pharisees. Blaming our falling nature when we mess up ourselves, but condemning others when they mess up. We want so much grace, but we rarely give it to others. Love must become central, for as Jesus said are the laws and the Prophets hang on the commandment to love our God with our whole heart, and to love our neighbor as ourselves.

What God cares the most about is our heart. Its why scripture tells us that  if we say we hate a man, it is the same as murdering him. There is plenty more examples. God wants to be our EVERYTHING. He wants to change us until we become mirrors of him to this lost, hurt, and broken world. We have to be his hands and his feet, above all it is our calling. We don't follow rules and empty ritual we follow Christ and we let him TRANSFORM us to be the people we were created to be.

T-Shirts
by Derek Webb
they'll know us by the t-shirts that we wear
they'll know us by the way we point and stare
at anyone whose sin looks worse than ours
who cannot hide the scars of this curse that we all bare

they’ll know us by our picket lines and signs
they’ll know us by the pride we hide behind
like anyone on earth is living right
and isn’t that why Jesus died
not to make us think we’re right

chorus
when love, love, love
is what we should be known for
love, love, love
it’s the how and it’s the why
we live and breathe and we die

they’ll know us by reasons we divide
and how we can’t seem to unify
because we’ve gotta sing songs a certain style
or we’ll walk right down that aisle
and just leave ‘em all behind

they’ll know us by the billboards that we make
just turning God’s words to cheap clichés
says “what part of murder don’t you understand?”
but we hate our fellow man
and point a finger at his grave

chorus
they'll know us by the t-shirts that we wear
they'll know us by the way we point and stare
telling ‘em their sins are worse than ours
thinking we can hide our scars
beneath these t-shirts that we wear

I am not a universalist. I just don't believe it's scriptural. Gods has told us that the path to heaven is narrow. But the Evangelical backlash against Evangelical Universalism makes me mad.
Because well it makes me wonder if they got to heaven and God said You guys I'm greater and more merciful that you would imagine, I'm saving those that did not accept me, they would be upset.
Thoughts?
Deeper theological thoughts?

The past few months it is like God has taken my heart and has reshaped it. i feel on fire for him, on fire for the world around me.  Scotland is still on my hear but so are the cities in the US, Africa, Europe, Asia. (sorry south of the border, not really there but knowing me and God you will be on my heart soon). God's giving me this heart for the Urban, the cities, the people there, and the life that happens there.  One this I  realized when I was walking around Denver  on Saturday, is that I have always loved being in cities. From the time I was a little kid I have always looked forward to going into Atlanta and Philadelphia.  I have loved traveling around cities during my Dad's marathons as much as I love skiing down a snow covered slope.
I am finding freedom, even more freedom to be the person God has made to be. Freedom to be the in love with the outdoors, in love with cities, girly, tomboy,................... me. Thank You God, you are good

In a lot of ways me choosing Scotland is me giving up Adventure, the world. Seeing all I can see. Which after finding out I didn't have to shove myself into a box has become part of my identity.
But the thing is, after the past year and thinking of saying goodbye to friends at the end of the year....again. I'm starting to realize it might not necessarily a bad thing. There is also a thought that if I'm away in a lot of different places it won't be as hard to be away from family.  But fear should not dictate my lifestyle. SO I'm saying God, if you want to take my adventure you can take it, I'll be okay, but God if you want me to keep it I'll go wherever you want me to go. More then anything God I want to live for you, I want you to be my everything, it is all in your hands.